The standard: For better or worse

What’s the point of a lifelong commitment? A writer on the Sydney Morning Herald website (http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/lifematters/should-marriages-have-an-expiry-date-20101025-16zpb.html) recently suggested that since divorce is so common nowadays, marriage certificates should have ten year expiry dates. The romantic ideal of growing old together seems to be getting rather… well, old.

An antidote to this cynical view might be for us to consider the biblical ideal for marriage. In the beginning, God made man and woman, and it was a good thing (Genesis 2:18). Much later, the apostle Paul explains husbands and wives should have the same sort of love as Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:22-28). The picture of unconditional love here is Jesus laying down His life for His church. It is important for us to remember that not once did Jesus ever say, “But what about me?!”

The idea of love is to put the need of the other before one’s own. Not just when one feels like it. The concept of God’s love is a ‘doing’ verb which encompasses the past, present and future (Jeremiah 31:3). Feelings (strangely enough) are not central in the act of loving. We know that Jesus did not feel like being crucified (Mark 14:36) but out of love for His Father, Jesus went though it anyway.

And that is the theoretical aspect of love as per the Bible. In reality though, many of us (yes even Christians) regrettably fall short of this standard. In this fallen world, each one of us often looks to our own interests first. We are constantly reminded that we need to do what is right for me. But in the Biblical ideal, it’s not about me and without God’s help we might as well have that ten year expiry date.

Weddings should be an opportunity for a man and a woman to stand before God, family and friends, promising to look to the best interests of the other person for as long as they live. Central to the Christian wedding is the promise made to God by the couple but also requesting His help in keeping that promise. It’s about working towards a standard.